Wednesday, December 21, 2011
What would you do if this happened to you?
I used to live with a really close (male) friend/roommate.(Andy) He always liked me, but I was never attracted to him physically, and it was a VERY high maintenance friendship. Andy was emotional and moody, was verbally abusive when he didn't get his way, and dependent on other people for his happiness. Everyone knew that he was in love with me, but I always made it clear that I was not interested. I was just recovering from a breakdown- I had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was successfully off my medication, and attended DBT therapy. I was on my way to recovery and doing very well, I had not dated in over a year, and decided to go to a movie with a guy to celebrate. Andy reacted to this by turning mutual friends against me, saying I had lead him on. (not true) He sulked around for a couple days, and then things returned mostly to normal, but I noticed he was avoiding me. I started talking to my childhood sweetheart (Jeff) on MSN about it and my recovery. Jeff and I became really close and started talking about dating seriously, but he was over 5000kms away. Andy became increasingly jealous, and started talking down to me a lot. We had a talk about it and Andy said he was sorry. We became closer, and he confided that he had been abused as a child. (I never told anyone this) I offered to set him up with my psychiatrist, but he said no. I continued talking to Jeff regularly. Andy was still jealous though, he would scream at me one day, and confess his love for me the next. I decided that I had to move out for my own mental health, and Andy seemed ok with it. When I started packing, it started a huge fight, and Andy said he was going to kill himself. I was scared, but I thought it was just him being dramatic. I noticed that he had circled the day after my move on the calendar in (what I thought was) red ink, but he made a dumb excuse about having my room's carpet cleaned that day. The next day I noticed cut marks on his arm, but pretended I hadn't. When he left for work, I snuck into his room to look at the calendar again. It was his blood. I heard a car door slam and went running, but I tripped, and went face first into the floor. I realized it was our neighbor, and had badly winded myself, so I just sat there for a second dazed about what I had discovered. When I went to get up, I noticed something shining under his bed. It was a scalpal, and there was also several bottles of pills. I called his parents, and we waited for him to come home. He freaked out, called me a F-ing B****, and sped off in his truck. We had to call the cops to find him, and they took him to the hospital in handcuffs. I moved out, and his parents moved him into their house to watch him. He was diagnosed with Bipolar Depression, and PTSD. He called me after 4 months, and thanked me for saving his life. I had finished therapy and decided that I needed a big change to start my new life- so I moved across the country to be with Jeff. Andy and I started talking regularly. There was no way we could start a relationship now, and he couldn't talk to his other friends about his suicidal thoughts, so he confided in me again. After being with Jeff for almost 2 years, we found out we were pregnant. I was scared, because I had been before, but the guy I had been with demanded that I have an abortion. When I had told him there was no way, he punched me in the stomach and caused internal bleeding and a tear in my uterus. I lost the baby, and was told that I would probably never be able to have a baby, or pregnancy that wouldn't endanger my life. I didn't want to tell anyone I was pregnant, as I would most likely miscarry, and I didn't want everyone to know such a personal thing. I decided to tell Andy, and swore him to secrecy. He promised me several times that I could trust him. The very next day, his sister wrote me on facebook, saying congrats on the pregnancy. I called him and he said he was drunk the night before and told his friends (who know me) and his sister. I haven't talked to him in over a year, I avoid his calls, and messages. Luckily, we now have a son. Andy keeps sending me messages on Facebook, and Jeff says I should forgive him, but I'm having problems seeing any value in the relationship. I think he did it on purpose to get back at me for telling his parents. I now have a son who relies on my mental strength, and I think being in contact with him might actually do more bad than good. What do you think, and would you ever talk to him again? Why?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment