How long is long enough to wait for someone to commit to a relationship, or am I just kidding myself here?

I have been dating this man off and on for a year and a half. Most times I stop seeing him because he makes me feel like a call. We have talked about our relationship, he says he cares and has love for me although not in love with me but I still only see him once a week, he will not call me his girlfriend, he is still active on personals but says he isn't dating anyone else, and basically lives a life I know nothing about. He makes sure there is no traces of me being at his house left behind, he doesn't take me anywhere except to bed, he won't go anywhere with me or meet my friends. I don't want to be living in a fools paradise anymore if he will never commit to me. He knows my feelings for him, says he never wants to hurt me and yet when he doesn't call me for days at a time or answer emails what am I to think?? He says it is all he is capable of right now but after all this time, should he have some idea if he wants to start a real relationship with me??